"Different Shades of the Same Color" - by Shanley Knox

Kathy Koenig and I sat down amongst backpacks, suitcases, snacks and craft supplies in the small guest room at Three Angels in the late morning heat of July in Haiti. The plan was for her to tell her adoption story, and for me to listen and then show how it relates to the heart of Three Angels. I had no idea, when we began, just how well her story was going to represent Christ's role in the adoption of children here in Haiti: His choosing of families for children, and children for families- one for the other.

Kathy first stood out to me because in addition to Samara and Caleb she was adopting Shakira, a 5 year old with disabilities here at Three Angels. I thought Kathy incredibly brave for adopting her-but this was my own lapse in reality. I was watching Kathy as if she had chosen these children for herself, without factoring in that God had chosen them for her, as well as her for them. Iron sharpens iron. The road runs both ways. I saw this as I watched Kathy struggle through her week-long stay. Her life taught me more about God's hand in adoption, and less about her own bravery, than I had expected as I watched her begin to take all three of her little charges in stride.

Kathy's had taken the trip every adoptive parent has to. She flew into Port Au Prince to see her own children she already loved, but had never met. She arrived at Three Angels to be plunged into the reality that she was taking on responsibility for children whose language, life, experience and personalities she knew nothing about. Different language. Different culture. Different skin color. But these kids are hers, and she's not about to let the shock of it all get in the way of providing the best life possible for them. I assumed this is simply the heart of a mother. Now I know it’s bigger than that. It's the heart of a person whom God has called and thus enabled to do something selfless- something like coming to Haiti to give three children new lives.

Kathy's story begins 18 years ago with marriage to her husband Randy. Both made decisions to be open to adoption: "I've always been open to adopting" she explained. As time went on and children of their own never arrived, Kathy and Randy decided to stop trying "I knew that if God wanted us to have kids he would give us kids. I didn't need a fertility test." Their first journey began in 2001 when the two set up a profile with a Christian adoption agency and made the decision to adopt domestically. Kathy was 33.

More than willing to adopt from different races, Kathy told me that "the adoption agency saw our preferences for children & asked us if we would consider being placed in the Bi-racial/African American file which means we would only consider adopting Bi-racial or African American babies.” She told me how hard this was, beings that there is still prejudice in her family: "I grew up in a small town with all white people."

Their first call came on December 13, 2001 for a baby due on December 27^th. They drove four hours on Christmas Eve to meet a mother and new baby that would unexpectedly both die on the 26^th. The tragedy caused them to take down their profile for a year, only to put it back up in January of 2003 and receive a phone call in September concerning their now daughter Phoebe. Kathy and Randy were too low on funds to keep adopting, but still wanted a baby boy. She told me that the name they had in mind for this as-yet-unknown boy was Caleb Andrew- "keep that in the back of your mind because it factors in later." I nodded. She smiled. I waited to hear. She laughed before going on. The couple sold their house hoping it would make enough for a down payment on a new one, as well as another adoption. No such luck. Kathy and Randy waited four years before their next adoption. They waited through not enough money, a move to Indiana, trying to adopt from Africa, and praying about a foster baby in their church. All but one of the children that fell through were different shades of black- "I wanted our other kids to be shades of Phoebe's color." Upset, unsure and without answers, Kathy gave up on Africa and her dreams of a bigger family simultaneously in January of 2007. And thus became Sarai, one who had given up on children but was to be provided for by the God of Israel: Kathy found out about Three Angels in the same month.

A friend showed Kathy Three Angels' website. Kathy re-discovered it a week later, due to late night insomnia and a curiosity she couldn't curb. She told me how she cried, and began to pray. One child, Samara, caught her eye. Kathy took a moment aside to tell me about her husband Randy, and how long it takes him to make decisions. She shut down the computer, went to bed, began to pray. Kathy showed the Three Angels website to Randy, and her slow decision making husband picked Samara right away.

Was one all? Kathy began to cry every time she looked at Shakira's picture, but her plan was to find a baby. She gave up on her plan in February, and decided that perhaps her tears were telling her something. Kathy told me with the ferocity of a mother that "Shakira's not dumb. She's smart. She just has to figure out how to express it." Her story continues with a remaining desire for a baby boy. A foster baby at church caught her eye, but God removed Kathy's desire for him as she prayed about it. Kathy later found out why. A ten day old baby boy arrived at Three Angels. His picture was posted on the Internet, along with a note that he had arrived without a name, so the House Manager christened him ‘Caleb’.

Kathy's adoption support group asked if she needed prayer about him before she mentioned him to them. Her friend had a dream that she was adopting three kids instead of two. Finally, Kathy and Randy asked permission from the Three Angels board, who normally does not allow adoption of so many at once unless they are related, to adopt three children instead of two. "None of my kids are related" Kathy said affectionately, and I noticed the clear mark of an adopting mother- she calls babies that live across the world her own before they have arrived to be with her. Special permission was granted, and Kathy and Randy got the baby boy they had been waiting for since 2001. She finished by talking to me about coming down here: "God's called us to do this and He will give us the strength to do it. Coming down here has affirmed that for me."